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Happy? Unhappy?

December 16, 2009

I said, “I want to be an architect.” Dad said, “Job opportunities are very low, do something else.”

Dad said “Science is not meant for you, take commerce.” I said, “OK Dad.”

I asked, “Can I go out for dinner tonight with my friends?” Mom said, “No being out later than 8 pm.” I insisted, “We live in Mumbai, Mom.” Mom said, “You are a child, you are not aware of the world.”

Dad said “Don’t waste time just doing B.Com, do CA.” I said, “Whatever you say, Dad.”

I asked, “Can I work somewhere for experience?” Dad said, “Be practical. Complete your studies first. You are already 21.” I said, “You are right, Dad.”

I said, “Let me finish CA first, then I’ll do MBA.” Dad said, “Don’t be ridiculous. Finish MBA first, CA can wait.”

I said, “I want to do MBA abroad.” Mom said, “We’ll not send you so far.” Dad said, “Indian universities are excellent. Try for India only, nowhere else.” I said, “OK.”

Mom asked, “Whom are you talking to, it’s after midnight.” I said, “My friend Mom, she has her exam tomorrow, so helping her out with a few difficulties.” Mom said, “No talking so late, it’s not good for girls to be on the phone so late.” I said, “Never again, Mom.”

I said, “I am applying to IIFT, Delhi for MBA.” Dad said, “That is MBA in International Business. Not good enough.”

I said, “I want to apply for FMS, Delhi for MBA.” Dad said, “Too many applicants, there’s no chance.”

I said. “What about XLRI, Jamshedpur?” Dad said, “Too difficult.”

Mom said, “Why do you want to go so far?” I asked, “Is that why you both refused?” Dad denied, but later confessed. I said, “But I am giving CAT? Is that OK?” No reply.

I said to Dad, “I want to apply for a university not in Mumbai. Live on my own. Experience the hostel life that you cherish.” Dad said, “If you are getting into a good college in Mumbai, why go out? Lets concentrate on staying nearby.”

Dad said, “Give CET for Mumbai universities.” I said, “OK Dad.”

I said, “MICA looks good. It is the best for MBA in Media and Communications, something that interests me.” Dad said, “Concentrate on getting into finance. That has more opportunities and that’s where the money is.” I said, “OK Dad.”

I asked, “Can I go out of town for a weekend with my friends?” Mom said, “I can’t send you alone, it is too risky.” I said, “OK Mom.”

Dad asked, “What is with you lately, show some enthusiasm, be cheerful. Smile!”  I said, “OK Dad.”

Mom asked, “Why aren’t you interested in anything? Anything wrong?” I say, “No Mom.”

Dad said, “The main thing is to be happy. We want you to be happy. The rest doesn’t matter.”

Mom, “You don’t seem happy. Look at others your age, how lively they are. And you have everything you want.”


Do I??? Am I happy???

Is having all materialistic pleasures everything I ever wanted or dreamed of? They are just means of attaining temporary happiness. What about the real deal?

I am not denying that parents have their child’s best interests at heart. But do you think that forcing her on your chosen path or your unattainable dream justified? Isn’t it necessary for a human to learn from his own mistakes first, which will help him to be more brave and confident?

Life is short, being happy is important. Constant displeasure regarding your choices are a deterrent to a sound and healthy growth of mind and body- so say the experts.


So what am I supposed to do? Does anyone have an answer???

It is almost 4 am as I write this. Thoughts of annoyance, anger, displeasure, frustration, unhappiness, dissatisfaction have been plaguing me for long. Getting them out should have made me feel better, but does it? Does it resolve the situation? No it doesn’t. I am still standing right there- confused and terrified, trying desperately to find a way out.

I love my parents and I know I am the one and only, most important factor in their life. I was a nice kid, sometimes naive but in everybody’s good books throughout. An ideal student, always aced my exams. Hardly any reasons for complaints. A quiet non-assuming girl, always obeying instructions, following orders. It’s not that I’ve not thrown my share of temper tantrums or been a stubborn brat occassionally. But you do understand where I’m going with this, don’t you?


Now I am 21, or I can argue- almost 22, and I have this sudden urge to explore and be adventurous. Take risks, feel free, go crazy, be impulsive! Is that wrong or unheard of? I don’t think so.

So now what?? I am unhappy :(.

14 Comments leave one →
  1. December 24, 2009 8:00 PM

    Great post. You summarized the plight of Indian girls in one post. I can relate to it because I have seen so many of female classmates, colleagues, and even my own cousin compromise with career.

    Your parents’ behavior is a result of love and concern for you. In long run, your happiness will not be determined by the choices that you could not make but by doing things well in the choices that you made.

    I understand your unhappiness, but life moves on quickly. Stay happy.

    • December 25, 2009 11:15 PM

      i have been trying to come up with a retort for wht u said but cudnt.. ur so right!! thts the ultimate thing every1 looks for neways..
      its jus tht in all the discussion abt having a secure contented future, we forget to live in the present.
      how much ever planning-execution, the future is still unpredictable..

  2. January 12, 2010 7:50 PM

    excellent post… i felt the same through out my life but i fought at each step… i couldn’t fight for cllg i submitted to my parents instead of going for mass comm which i wanted to do ended up doing engineering… m back from seeing 3 idiots 2day and then as i surf net i come accross ur article… very touching!! keep blogging!!

  3. January 13, 2010 12:40 PM

    A good post…and so true. Though I have been lucky on that front and my parents have always let me take my career decisions myself, I have seen this happening with so many of my friends.

    The thing is all parents want their children to be happy and their understanding is limited to “if they get a job that pays well, the life’s of their child will be secure and happy.”

    In their times, they have not had so many varied opportunities and areas where one can venture. For them it was, get a degree and a paying job….everything else will fall in place… Also, anything more than that, they come to know from the newspapers or what their neighbor’s son has achieved.

    Would suggest, at such times you should try to explain to your parents that your happiness lies in what you want to do…they will not get it the first time. But you shouldn’t stop trying.. 🙂

    • January 13, 2010 12:51 PM

      Just one more thing…which plug-in are you using to add the following under the comment form

      Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS

      Notify me of follow-up comments via email.

      Notify me of new posts via email.


      • January 13, 2010 11:50 PM

        no plugins.. they’re jus wordpress widgets. and i am kind of technologically challenged so i dont think i am the right person to ask 😀

        • January 14, 2010 11:28 PM

          heh….I was really hoping for the name of the plug-in…any idea of the name of the widget?? 🙂

          But otherwise also never mind… BTW no one is technically challenged, its just that you have never had someone like me to explain tech stuff to you…

          Try my other blog… where I try to introduce newer internet stuff in a totally non-techie way!! Nopes, its not so scary and yes I am a techie.. 😛

          do tell me if you like em’ Chaooo!

          • January 15, 2010 11:53 PM

            u dont know me… im challenged extremely.. ppl hv lost their minds explaining things to me.. 😀
            anyways name of the widget is ‘blog subscriptions’..
            i did like ur blog.. the tech one im kinda scared to check :)..

    • January 13, 2010 11:44 PM

      thnx piyush 🙂

  4. January 19, 2010 5:35 PM

    I am sure that people must have lost their minds explaining tech stuff to you but that doesn’t deter me from trying.. 🙂 Just drop-in when you feel a lil brave.. heh

    Thanks for the widget name…and also glad you liked that blog. Its very new, just started writing. Do leave your views on whatever little I have posted.

  5. January 29, 2010 11:48 PM

    Hey Pooja…Nice post…Simple but made the point loud and clear…

  6. March 22, 2010 6:13 PM

    I was just browsing through your blog. Keep up the good work.
    Although this one seems to be coming straight from the heart.
    @ abhishek — can’t agree with you more.

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