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Why Am I So Alone?

February 15, 2010

Sometimes I wake up at night and get this urgent need to cry. There are so many thoughts and feelings churning inside me but somehow I am just unable to get them out. At night, just lying in my bed, it feels like I am the one person in the world, no one else exists.

 

 

I am so incredibly lonely and it’s killing me because I have no reason to feel like this. I could reach out to almost anyone and they’d be there for me. But I can’t, why can’t I do this one little thing?

 

There is always this fear that people won’t understand what I am feeling. My parents, being from a different generation find it difficult to accept certain views of mine. I have friends, of course, great ones that too. But there is always a fear that they would be judgemental. It is such an effort to just do anything at times, that I feel so tired and worn out. The “I am so happy and excited about this and that” seems like a façade.

 

The solitude is overwhelming but I’m not even sure I want to not be lonely because I could fix it by reaching out instead of pushing people away. Physically I am surrounded by so many people, who love me dearly and I love them back. So is it all in the head? Does everyone feel this way at times?

 

I’m sorry, I’m really confused, this is a rant. Don’t mind me, I’ll just crawl back into my burrow.

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19 Comments leave one →
  1. February 15, 2010 12:03 PM

    Look girl, everyone goes through certain phases of life and sometimes things did seems overwhelming and like tidal waves it looks that it could swept us away. It happens, to everyone. And this writer is no exception

    Now the question is how you tackle it, well I won’t be preachy but only thing ‘Hold on! this too shall pass’

    and I am saying this when I am passing through one of the worst phases I have ever seen in my life and it is not yet over. But this too shall pass, like other one have.

    Best of luck and try to live each moment 🙂

  2. February 15, 2010 12:22 PM

    You are just behaving like a loser. Loneliness is all in ones mind and such thing really don’t exist. Go out with friends and enjoy their company. 🙂

  3. February 15, 2010 1:52 PM

    hmmm it happens to all of us….one time or the other. You will bounce back am sure. Certain phases in life are difficult to handle but they definitely teach you something about yourself. Hang in there….

  4. February 15, 2010 1:59 PM

    And this is a coincident. I’m feeling the same right now 😐

    Just another mood swing may be :-/ It will pass away too 🙂

  5. February 15, 2010 10:48 PM

    oh… i felt the same few days ago… not now…now i do not care…:D

  6. February 16, 2010 6:49 AM

    I enjoy loneliness. I am happy when I am lonely.

  7. February 16, 2010 4:12 PM

    Well , I can very well understand your emotions.Because i feel this every day.Many people here might be thinking that , this emotion is temporary and will phase out with time.But to be more clear, what i have discovered is that,this emotion actually fades temporarily but it stays permanently.A person cant be said looser , if this emotion persists.It just happen because what our heart wishes for , we are far away from that .

    At this moment of time , i can only advice what i have discovered to keep myself away from such loneliness.Keep yourself busy in those things which you always wished to do and everyday in the morning just pray to god , Today is what all matters.I will make best use of time today and will always keep myself busy.Please be with me always.If you are with me , then i will never be only.Start your day with a smile for your parents and live your life for the happiness of others. Its not simple to do all this , but to come out of loneliness is also not simple.So in order to be out of this loneliness ,you have to give above given advice your best shot and let see how you feel like!

  8. miilee permalink
    February 17, 2010 1:05 AM

    I can totally identify with this post of yours… I feel sick to my stomach…. feel like if I died right now, no one would give a shit about it… 😦
    but knowing that there are people out there who feel the same way makes me feel good… 🙂

    • February 17, 2010 2:01 AM

      i am kind of sorry that you are feeling like that, and i am sure that wouldn’t really be true.. i guess we should follow all of the above given advice ;)..
      and miilee, welcome to my blog.. keep coming :D!!

  9. February 19, 2010 10:04 PM

    Can so bloody relate to the rant of yours…But i believe in the saying of a great saint…

    Life seems worthless one day AND worthless, in the positive sense, the other day 🙂

    BTW that saint who said it is me 😉 good post

  10. February 24, 2010 6:28 AM

    been there, done that…

    I generally call up a lot of people on new years eve and stuff.. and it was the beginning of 2008, I decided to do a social experiment… I decided to call no one and see how many people call me… the results were disastrous.. I got like 2 calls, one from my Mom and the other from a guy who needed something from me (he didn’t even care to wish)… that experiment totally sucked!

  11. September 27, 2011 5:43 AM

    Thanks for posting this. Your post plus all of the insight helped take me away from my own loneliness. 🙂

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