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Why The Bias?

March 23, 2010

Dad and I have started this new routine of going out, just the two of us. A suggestion by my darling mother, coz she feels we don’t spend much time with each other. So this Sunday we went for a drive. I was driving, quite apprehensively, because dad is too critical and too much of a perfectionist. Which frankly gets on my nerves. And we both being so hot-headed lose our temper even before we have left the building :P.

 

So as usual, he comments, “You are driving too fast”. Now in my defence, it is Sunday afternoon, the roads are wide and empty, and I am driving at a speed of around 40. Which I explain with good humour.

And then he says, “Girls shouldn’t drive so fast”. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Where did gender bias come into the picture here? What does it matter – male or female? Fast is fast, there is no other explanation to it.

He is obviously not done yet, “Boys, they are aggressive. Girls shouldn’t be so.” OK that just did it. I was totally dumb struck to hear this. That too from my father who has envisioned me as a strong-willed corporate leader, which till what I know are mostly men.

 

Some might say it was not such a big deal. Well, it was not. But not so big becomes big and big becomes huge in no time at all, right?

I also don’t disagree with the fact that one shouldn’t be aggressive while driving, etc. and channel this energy towards more important things. But why should it just pertain to girls? It should be applicable to everybody because, well it is the right thing to do.

Quite a few of my male friends also have a similar opinion. They are too smart to voice it out loud (in fear of a thrashing :D), but they don’t miss the opportunity to give back once in a while.

 

Why is our society which boasts of so much advancement in terms of education and exposure still feel that women are and should remain the quiet, delicate, shadowed weaklings?

Or am I being ignorant and dishing out a totally irrelevant argument? Am I the one who is misguided? Is it that men and women will never be on an equal footing? Are all the proclamations about gender equality utter bullshit :x?

Of course there is the ego factor. Men and their huge, mighty egos. No space left for us, poor females :P.

Cent percent equality is obviously not possible on many practical levels ;), even I agree. But what about instances where it can be inculcated? Say for example, in our minds. And I have noticed, it is not just the men, even women discriminate. I feel they are brainwashed :?.

 

Anyways, once home I narrated the entire conversation to mom. Two are better than one, isn’t it? We did win the battle against dad, made him eat his words :lol:. Thankfully, dad does not discriminate in the “real” sense. It is just wierd stuff like this which creeps up once in a while. And it is always very satisfying to change someone’s point of view. After all it is for a good cause :D.

So the score: one down. Hundred thousand million to go!

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27 Comments leave one →
  1. March 23, 2010 10:17 PM

    So much of brainwashing 🙄

  2. March 24, 2010 1:06 AM

    wah wah….:P super…. 😛

  3. March 24, 2010 3:56 AM

    frankly, this gender bias has been a part of our upbringing and culture. Add to that India being a place where even educated people will prefer a man instead of woman for a particular job cause hiring a woman in their opinion becomes a problem. The girl will get married and have kids and so better to hire a man. It is this kind of attitude which makes it difficult to change attitudes in a so called modern society of ours.

    Your argument is relevant and absolutely correct. Women should try to remove this gender bias from their own minds first before pointing a finger at men.

  4. March 24, 2010 5:11 AM

    Pooja

    Don’t take it seriously but i don’t think there is any gender bias in this.In fact his comments were just supporting that Girls should behave more sensibly than boys.If girls will behave similar to boys then you know how bad it is for our society.Please don’t take such lines as a comment on women.Girls are and will always remain stronger than boys , emotionally,mentally and physically.Because the amount of pain they face in their life ,boys just can’t stand to that.

    Your dad was just trying to make you a roll model for others.In Japan , i see girls smoking all the time.When i ask my friends why do you smoke ? They answer me , If boys can do ..why can’t girls?

    So , if we bring gender bias in all situations , then i don’t think there will be any difference left among boys and girls.

    • March 24, 2010 3:47 PM

      so you do agree that boys don’t behave sensibly.. lol :D…
      thanx arvind!!!

      • March 24, 2010 3:49 PM

        Yes , i do believe that.

        • March 24, 2010 3:51 PM

          lol you’re funny.. thanks for the support.

          • March 24, 2010 3:55 PM

            There is nothing funny… 🙂
            I am not supporting you … i am supporting all women.

            And if boys don’t behave sensible , then it doesn’t mean they are dumb and idiots.

            It depends on person to person..Sometime girls also behave insensibly.

            • March 24, 2010 4:03 PM

              yes i know.. thanks was on behalf of all women..

              “Sometime girls also behave insensibly.” thats exactly what I am saying.. everyone has moments when they behave without thinking.. why should you then differentiate? why is it ok for men to be wrong and not women?

              • March 24, 2010 4:07 PM

                Poojaaaaaaaa

                You wanna choose a wrong path or right path?

                I am so confused that why you creating gender bias on wrong path.

                If a boy is driving rash ..do you also wanna drive fast?

                If a boy smokes , do women also wanna smoke?

                Why gender bias on this issue ?

                Your dad was just trying to give you a right direction . He clearly said you should not drive fast like boys.Because he knew that you are a daughter and you will understand him in a better way.

                • March 24, 2010 4:21 PM

                  Arviinnnddddddd,

                  first of all “gender bias” i agree is too strong a word for this.. but i couldn’t think of a better word/ phrase.
                  you are absolutely right, why follow a wrong path…?
                  all i am saying is, why should one say “girls shouldn’t drive rash” rather than saying “no one should drive rash”.. this is my worry..

                  i absolutely am my father’s daughter and totally respect his sentiments regarding this issue, fear not..

                  i am not trying to undermine your point of view.. i feel you are right on certain levels.. but according to me, this is not a trivial matter.

                  on the other hand, i am not wanting to create riots of any sort 😆

                  • March 24, 2010 4:26 PM

                    Ok

                    Now i got your point 🙂

                    You are right.

                    If in case i marry in future , i will say to my daughter ,” No one should drive fast”

                    And i never try to fight on your posts.You write well and i appreciate your concerns.I was just discussing.

                    And why did you say my name so long …. there is no need to copy right 😛

  5. March 24, 2010 3:31 PM

    this post is just a typical girl’s post…nothing’s new…all self generated bias….bad post…it shows how low is you confidence !!! i’m very shocked !!!

  6. March 24, 2010 3:33 PM

    Grow up girl !!!

    • March 24, 2010 4:26 PM

      I think Pooja is completely right, and she doesn’t need to “grow up”. It’s affirmative that men stereotype women to be submissive and benevolent. When a man drives a car, and he’s in an accident, people just say, “Javaani ka josh hai.”
      When a girl does the same, “Yeh aurtei gaadiya kyu chalati hai?”
      Why do people say that?! “Kya mai kissi aur ke baap ki gaadi chala rahi hu? Kya mai gaadi churakei chala rahi hu? Shut the fuck up!” Statistically, men are prone to rash driving and tickets, and girls are safer drivers! So, i just don’t get the theory that men can be as fast as they want and that we must be that way. I agree that rash driving can kill, but c’mon! Don’t make it a gender issue. It just makes people look pathetic!

  7. March 24, 2010 4:35 PM

    @ Arvind,
    i know you are not fighting.. it is a discusion. hehe 😆
    and i appreciate you taking time out from your schedule and replying to my posts so diligently..

    as for your name, i just got into the mood.. 😉

  8. March 24, 2010 8:41 PM

    It was like a conversation between me n my dad:)..

  9. March 24, 2010 10:32 PM

    Gender bias is there is all societies including America (we have less women engineers and girls regularly score lower in SAT Math becoz girls are not encouraged to take up math – its a boy thing. And its a accepted fact that women get lower wages in same jobs compared to men ). This is a way too complex social problem but the good part is people/attitudes are changing…But the change has to happen from a very early stage – in every home:-) Dont raise kids by telling them “boys do this, girls do this etc”..Treat them as individuals and not based on their gender..

    my 2 cents,
    Sonali

    • March 25, 2010 10:58 PM

      thanks sonali for your contributing.. you are right, charity begins at home.. and should from the grass root level.

  10. March 25, 2010 6:59 AM

    the start of your post reminded me so much of my hsusband
    when ever my son or daughter is driving he behaves exactly like ur dad
    i read somwhere gender discrimination starts the very moment the dr. announces outside the delivery room ” its a girl”
    how much we talk about equality, discrimination has become integral part of our life,

  11. March 25, 2010 12:52 PM

    @ anju….today morning at 6:45 i received a call from my sis that our bhabhi (big bro’s wife) delivered a baby girl….i am so excited to see that baby girl knowing that she’s in UK ….even i took a off today and partying since morning in joy of the first baby of next generation.i found no gender bias at all in any of family members.

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